I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I love you.
Bad choice
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
