It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This is classic penis vs brain.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
