Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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