someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
