Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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