how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
