Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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