Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
