I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
