Come see our sink grown plant.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
