My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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