everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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