I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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