i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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