I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm sobbing to NWA
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
