This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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