there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
