So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
