He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
