Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
