You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
