Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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