big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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