Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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