I can tuck mytits in my pants
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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