garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Found your dick twin last night
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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