we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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