Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
