and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
