I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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