that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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