I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I need help removing her.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
