i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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