is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
