Don't you send me to vm
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
