Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
