I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
