i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
