Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
