You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we're chasing vodka with high fives
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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