Come see our sink grown plant.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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