I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
