can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
