Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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