how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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