I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
