i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
