sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
