he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
