swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
